Talking about Adoption With the Birthfather

Deciding to place your child for adoption is one of the hardest choices in the world. Parents who are struggling with this issue experience a roller coaster of emotions before making their final decision.

Typically, both the mother and father are involved in any decision regarding their child; however, cases that involve adoption are usually more complicated. There may be one parent who wants to create an adoption plan while the other doesn’t, or one parent may be left in the dark. Whatever the case may be, communication is key to making the best decision for everyone involved.

In the majority of cases, the mother is responsible for breaking the news to the child’s father in hopes that a decision can be made. That conversation can be difficult. If you’re in this situation, consider these helpful tips that might make this conversation a little easier.

Choose the Best Timing

This is a difficult conversation to have, so choosing the best time for it is key to avoiding complications. One of the best ways to do this is to schedule a time to talk. Let him know that you have something important to discuss and that you need to meet in person to discuss it. This will help the father understand that the topic at hand is serious.

Be Compassionate

This child is a product of both the mother and father. Therefore, the father may feel he has just as much say in the future of his child as you do. Keep that in mind as you discuss your options. Take his feelings into account the same way you would want him to respect yours. Be compassionate during your conversation. Rather than dismissing any of his differing opinions, try to understand where he’s coming from. Being open and understanding can minimize the potential for arguing or blow-ups. It can help you both make a solid choice that is free of unnecessary conflict.

Bring the Facts

When placing a child for adoption, there are many factors that need to be considered. To begin, you have to choose the type of family you want for your child and the type of adoption you want. Then you have to determine the best agencies to go through. Bring this information to the conversation to let him know that you’ve done your research. This will help him better understand your side without feeling like it’s an impulse decision.