On the road to adopting a baby, anything and everything can happen. It’s why the process is often referred to as the “adoption journey” and why each adoptive family’s story is unique and different from the rest. For hopeful parents starting this process, it’s important for them to be prepared for everything that can happen, including adoption disruptions.
What is Adoption Disruption?
An adoption disruption, sometimes referred to as a “failed adoption,” occurs when a planned adoption doesn’t end in a successful placement. It can happen for any reason, from minor issues to bigger problems, during any part of the adoption process after a birthmother has chosen an adoptive family. Though adoption disruptions are disheartening, sometimes they are only temporary, which is why it’s important that hopeful parents are careful to respond in a supportive or polite manner.
With guidance, support, and help from our coordinators at LifeLong Adoptions, many hopeful parents have recovered from disrupted or failed adoptions and gone on to grow their families through a new connection or a previous one that turned out to be temporary.
Grow Your Family With Us
Why Adoptions Fail: Common Reasons for Disruption
No two adoption journeys look alike, and when a disruption happens, it can be for a wide range of reasons. Below are some of the more common reasons for an adoption disruption. Though some of these roadblocks may seem final, that’s not necessarily true. It’s best to be aware that while disruptions may occur, they are only part of your journey to fulfilling your lifelong dream of starting a family.
- The birthmother stops communicating or decidedly ends communication.
- Before an adoption is legally finalized, the birthmother changes her mind and decides to parent her child.
- The birthfather, or a member of the birth family, legally contests the adoption.
- The birthmother decides to place her child with another adoptive family, agency, or service provider.
- A birthmother communicating with and deciding between multiple families chooses the one family she wishes to move forward with.
- The birthmother either loses her baby or chooses to terminate her pregnancy.
- The birthmother is found to be emotionally or financially scamming.
- The adoptive family does not want to move forward with the birthmother and decides to walk away from the situation.
These are just a handful of the ways that an adoption plan can be disrupted. In many of these situations, a disruption may not always be permanent. Our coordinators at LifeLong Adoptions have seen instances where a birthmother resurfaced after a disrupted adoption to resume her connection with the same family, oftentimes leading to a successful placement. This is one reason why it’s important to remain hopeful and be supportive of all those involved in your journey.
“For each of the mothers we spoke with, we know we were in their life for a reason, even our disruption; we were there to provide that sweet baby girl a safe space for seven days while her mother decided what was best. We are grateful for each one of the women who walked into our lives, even if it was for a short time, because each one of them ultimately led us to our son and our family of three.” - Julia & William, adoptive parents
Moving Forward After an Adoption Disruption
After a disruption occurs, we will resume presenting your profile for new adoption opportunities whenever you feel ready to do so, whether that’s after a short break or right away. Let your coordinator know what you feel comfortable with.
When adoption disruptions occur, it’s important to know that support is out there. From guidance and resources provided by your coordinator to emotional support from family and friends, it’s important to lean on those who can offer help. It’s also essential to understand that a disrupted or “failed” adoption isn’t always the end of your journey. There are many hopeful parents out there who experienced adoption disruptions and went on to successfully grow their families.
At LifeLong Adoptions, we’re committed to helping you achieve your dream of parenthood. Whether you want to take a temporary pause after an adoption disruption or find a new connection to move forward with, our team is here to help facilitate your wishes. We understand that the adoption journey is a long, emotional road, which is why we offer compassionate, personalized service tailored to our parents.
