Dreams of Family
Throughout our journey to grow our family, adoption was always on the table. We started out with fertility treatments, which we approached with hope and perseverance. As the months went by and we weathered multiple failed attempts, it became clear that we didn’t need to keep trying something that perhaps wasn’t meant to be. In a way, it felt like a sign. So, we pivoted to adoption, and immediately felt secure in our choice. It just felt right.
Finding Our Path
When we began looking at adoption agencies, we wanted to make sure we partnered with one that boldly supported LGBTQ+ families like ours. LifeLong Adoptions stood out from the start, and was the clear choice for us. We were also drawn to the fact that LifeLong is a national agency, which meant there would be more opportunities to connect with expectant mothers across the country. We felt respected and validated by LifeLong, and that made our path to parenthood feel uplifting and supported.
Taking the First Steps
We kicked off the new year with the beginning of our adoption journey. We were so excited and energized by our choice and what the future held. We felt like we were finally taking concrete steps toward becoming parents!
After working through the rigorous home study process and creating our profile, we started to get nervous that we weren't being chosen. Doubt started to creep in. Were we not resonating with expectant mothers? Was our video not good enough? Did we not include something we should have? Despite the worrying, we remained steadfast in our commitment to adopt, and knew we were on the right path... it was just a matter of time.
We were very selective with whom we shared our adoption plans and status. The journey leading us to adoption and waiting for a connection is emotional and intense, and we wanted to be careful with our hearts. Those we did confide in were thrilled. Our family had been eager to see us become parents, and they embraced our decision wholeheartedly. We were so grateful to have this support.
A Life-Changing Connection
After months of waiting, we received a call that changed everything: an expectant mother had chosen us, and she was due in three weeks! We learned that she became pregnant around the exact same time we signed on with LifeLong — how fortuitous! We immediately started texting with both birthparents, and hit it off right away. It was strange how comfortable it all felt.
We were fortunate to get to meet in person before the birth, during which they told us they wanted us to raise their child. It was an incredibly profound and touching experience. We were moved by their warmth and kindness, especially the birthfather's openness and engagement. We left that meeting feeling even more confident in the connection that we all had built over such a short amount of time.
Welcome to the World, Luka
As we counted down the days until the due date, we rushed to prepare. It was a whirlwind! The birthparents asked us if we wanted to be at the birth, and of course we jumped at the opportunity. We received a text message from the birthfather at 2 am that they were at the hospital and we might need to get in the car soon. By 5 am, we were headed to them for Luka’s arrival. As we waited, we spent the day with the birthparents’ support team, including the birthfather’s mother. We were awestruck by everyone’s support for us. It was truly incredible and humbling.
Just two hours after Luka was born, we got to meet him, and we’ve been together ever since. The shock of a wild past three weeks, to suddenly having our baby in our arms, mixed with the nerves of waiting through the revocation period was a lot to wrap our heads around. But we were overcome with gratitude and happiness. It was the most surreal, beautiful experience we could imagine. He was here and perfect, and at last, parenthood officially started!
Building Lasting Bonds
We remain committed to maintaining an open adoption with Luka's birthparents. So far, we’ve been in touch weekly — texting photos and letting them know how he’s doing and what he’s up to. Navigating these relationships can be complex, especially since everyone is learning as they go, but we approach it with empathy and respect. In no way can we repay them for the gift they’ve given us, but we want to make sure they know how much we appreciate and value them. We have also maintained a warm relationship with Luka's biological grandmother. There is talk of visits in the future, which we welcome and will figure out as the time comes. We want Luka to know his roots, and that his story is wrapped with love from all sides.
Surviving the Wait
Adoption is not a journey for the faint of heart. The hardest part for us was the waiting. We knew, logically, that it could take up to two years to be matched, but knowing that didn't make the waiting any easier. There were moments of doubt and fear, wondering if it would ever happen, but we reminded ourselves that this is part of the process, and that we could get a call any minute. Every day was a step toward finding the child who was meant to be ours, and every setback was to guide us to that moment. Our patience and desire to be in control was tested, but in the grand scheme of things, it was way, way worth it.
One of the best ways we found to cope with the wait was to simply enjoy life. We spent time with family and friends, and made travel plans. We did projects around the house that had been on our to-do list. We also read stories of other adoptive families. Learning about their experiences, their struggles, and their ultimate successes gave us hope and helped keep us grounded.
Words of Wisdom
Our advice to others is to embrace every part of the journey — the highs, the lows, and everything in between. You will grow as a person. Trust the process, even when it feels uncertain, because it will. Be open-minded and flexible, both in your preferences and in your approach. The journey will take unexpected turns and you will be pushed to confront possibilities outside of your comfort zone, but those twists may lead you to exactly where you need to be. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. The last thing you want to do is close a door. Act with empathy, understanding the courage it takes for birthparents to make their choices. And most of all, give it your all. Luka has changed our lives in ways we can't put into words, and we're forever grateful that we chose adoption. It led us to him, and he is our greatest joy.