Deciding on Adoption
We began our family planning journey hoping to conceive naturally, but as time passed and IVF became the next step, we had to take a hard look at our options. Something about that process didn't feel right for us—it just wasn't the path we felt drawn to. That's when we began discussing adoption more seriously. The decision felt right immediately. The more we talked about it, the more we saw that adoption aligned perfectly with how we envisioned building our family. It even became a running joke—every member of our household, including our pets, has been adopted. It's simply how we grow our family!
While searching for an adoption agency, we found ourselves overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information available. Inclusivity was a top priority for us, and LifeLong Adoptions stood out because of their commitment to diverse families. Their dedication to working with LGBTQ+ families and ensuring everyone is respected and supported gave us immense confidence. Although we aren't a same-sex couple, it mattered to us that we worked with an agency that values and embraces all families. As fate would have it, one of our coworkers had adopted through LifeLong without us even knowing it at the time—a powerful sign that we had made the right choice.
Beginning Our Journey
Starting our adoption journey was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Doubts crept in as we wondered whether it would really work out for us. The initial stages were particularly overwhelming with all the forms, steps, and preparation involved. But once we got into the swing of things, our excitement and determination kept us motivated.
We were fortunate to have a strong support network. When we shared our plans to adopt, the reactions were just as joyful and enthusiastic as if we had announced a pregnancy.
Tears of joy, hugs, and an outpouring of love made it clear that we were not alone on this journey. Their support became our anchor, giving us strength when we needed it most.
The Journey
The process had its share of challenges. The first few opportunities that came our way required careful consideration, particularly regarding special needs situations. Turning down those opportunities was heart-wrenching, but we made every decision with thoughtfulness and compassion.
Our waiting period wasn't as long as we had feared, but during the quieter moments, we found solace in travel. Exploring new places became our happy place and helped distract us from the waiting game.
Eventually, we connected with an expectant mother and spent a month getting to know her. The connection seemed promising until communication suddenly stopped. We assumed she had chosen to parent. While we understood, it was still a painful setback. To heal and recharge, we took a brief mental health break and focused on reconnecting with ourselves. Not long after, we were chosen by an expectant mother named Amber. Our journey with her had its complexities, but every moment was meaningful.
Just a week before Amber's due date, she visited the doctor, and we learned she had been using substances. She entered a facility for her safety, and when we called to check in, we discovered she was already dilated to eight centimeters! We had thought we had more time, but everything moved quickly after that.
Meeting Our Baby
Meeting our son for the first time was indescribable. Gazing at his face, holding him close, and feeling our love for him grow by the second felt surreal. It was a thrilling and unforgettable moment—the culmination of all our hopes and dreams.
Yet there was uncertainty about whether Amber would ultimately sign the papers or choose to parent. While we waited, we experienced a rollercoaster of emotions but remained hopeful, believing everything would unfold as it was meant to. Thankfully, Amber did continue with her adoption plan and placed her son with us.
We maintain contact with Amber, though communication can be sporadic. We do our best to keep her updated and meet her needs. We hope she will always be part of our lives in some way. We value the trust we have built and appreciate our shared connection.
Navigating Through the Challenges
One of the most challenging aspects was managing our relationships with the expectant mothers we connected with. As adoptive parents, so much was beyond our control, which was difficult to accept. We learned to focus on what we could control—being supportive, respectful, and present—while understanding that many aspects of the journey were out of our hands.
Our advice is simple: trust the process and have faith that it will work out. Be patient and savor the moments in between. Use the time to prepare yourselves for parenthood. Every twist and turn in this journey is leading you to the child who is meant to be yours. Stay open, stay hopeful, and be ready to give your heart fully to the experience. We did, and now we have the greatest gift of all—our beautiful son.