How did you decide to adopt a baby?
We always knew adoption was the path for us as a same sex couple. We were not interested in extensive fertility treatments to produce a baby that was only one of ours biologically anyway. Adoption was a much better fit.
Why did you choose to work with LifeLong Adoptions?
Lifelong was an obvious choice for us as a same sex couple. LifeLong caters to lesbian and gay couples as opposed to being an afterthought like we would be at some of the large agencies. Also, we were impressed with LifeLong's numbers of babies placed and successes. The two-year contract is scary, but it’s high risk, high reward.
What were you most excited about?
We were most excited about starting our family and about our child joining the other cousins in all the family activities.
What were you most nervous about?
We were most nervous about never being picked and waiting for a long time and it never working out.
How did your friends and family react to your decision to adopt?
Our friends and family were 100% supportive.
What was it like meeting the birthmother for the first time?
Meeting the birthmother was exciting, nerve wracking, and sad all at the same time. We were super nervous and excited for ourselves, but terribly sad for the birthmother. We were overjoyed to be meeting her, but she was in a tough situation, so we also felt sad for her and understood that it was not all sunshine and rainbows for her like it was from our perspective.
Did you choose an open or closed adoption? How did you make that decision?
We currently have a semi-open adoption. The birthmother wants no contact and wants to recover and move on with her life right now. We do, however, have communication with the birth-grandmother.
What were the biggest challenges of the adoption process?
The biggest challenge was the wait, and then again the wait for the Termination of Parental Rights to be signed, and then again the wait for the ten-day revocation period to be over. It was incredibly stressful after caring for the baby to think that the birthmother could change her mind and we'd lose the baby.
Adopting a baby can be a lengthy process - how did you get through the wait?
You can't lose hope. Every failed connection or missed opportunity just means that was not your baby. Stay positive and trust the process. Also trust the professionals at LifeLong and know they are doing all they can to make it work.
Would you adopt again? Why or why not?
We are currently undecided on adopting again.
What advice do you have to share with other adoptive parents?
Start the process early and research, research, research. Stay positive. Do not set up your nursery until you have a baby. Be open-minded to lots of situations — don't expect a perfect situation. Be realistic, no one places a baby for adoption because everything is great. Your great happiness is someone else's great sadness — be aware of that and realistic about it.