Choosing LifeLong Adoptions
The idea of adoption has fascinated me since I was in grade school. I chose it as a research topic in school year after year, driven by my deep personal connection to the subject. With a nephew, grandfather, best friend, and cousin all adopted, adoption was not just an abstract concept — it was woven into the fabric of my life. Naturally, this long-standing interest eventually evolved into a desire to grow my own family through adoption.
When it came time to select a company to work with, I initially wanted something local. However, after meeting with LifeLong Adoptions, I felt a deep sense of alignment with their values and approach. It was clear to me that they were the right choice to help me navigate this life-changing adventure.
Embarking on the Adoption Journey
Starting the process filled me with so much hope, despite the uncertainties that lay in front of me. The mix of emotions I experienced was intense. I was nervous and anxious, but also incredibly excited about the possibilities ahead.
My decision to adopt was met with joy and enthusiastic support from nearly everyone around me. Friends and family began showering me with baby items, their excitement was so uplifting. My dad exhibited some initial hesitation, but now he is so in love with my son.
A Rollercoaster of Opportunities
My journey was not without its heartaches. I was home study approved in November, and just two months later I was chosen by my first expectant mother, due in May. We communicated through the birth of her baby, but the connection did not work out. Our parting of ways was extremely difficult. That first heartbreak taught me a lot about resilience. Adoption teaches you to let go of what is not meant to be and prepares you for what is meant to be.
Following that first opportunity, several others came and went, including a birthmother who again changed her mind after giving birth. That was another very difficult heartbreak to overcome. Fortunately, we remained in contact and that incredible young woman has since become like a sister to me. It is a relationship I treasure deeply.
To cope with the waiting periods between opportunities, I immersed myself in work, family life, and preparing the nursery, all welcome distractions that helped pass the time. Getting through multiple emotional adoption situations that didn’t pan out was draining, particularly the high hopes and subsequent disappointments that also affected my parents. By my last opportunity, I chose to keep the circle of knowledge small to manage expectations.
The Opportunity that Changed Everything
When the right opportunity finally came, I felt an instant certainty that I hadn’t felt before. That was something I had heard from a few other adoptive parents, but I actually understood what they meant when I was chosen by my son’s birthmother. Once I connected with her, everything felt right. Our communication was open and frequent, which helped build a strong bond between us. Then, about a month later, one urgent text set everything into motion—it was time to go and meet my baby. My mother and I drove over ten hours to get to the hospital.
It was late at night when my mother and I finally arrived at the hospital. My son had arrived much sooner than expected. In fact, his birthmother hadn’t even made it to the hospital in time. She had given birth in her car on the side of the road with the help of a stranger and rushed to the hospital afterwards. The first time I saw him, his birthmother took me to his room in the NICU. The nurse asked her if she wanted to hold him but she insisted I hold him, which truly touched my heart. Holding my son for the first time, with his birthmother by my side, I was overwhelmed by joy and gratitude. It is a moment I will never forget.
Maintaining a Connection
Initially, my relationship with my son’s birthmother was very close. Since then, however, it has become more distant. Despite her less frequent responses, I still send her monthly updates about the son we both love. Respecting her boundaries while keeping the line of communication open is something I commit to unwaveringly.
To others considering this life-changing journey, know that it's worth every hardship you will endure. The process will likely be more challenging than you anticipate, but the joy of finally holding your child is incomparable. Trust in the process, lean on your support network, and stay focused on the love that prompted you to choose this path in the first place.