Knowing Adoption Was for Us
We both always knew we wanted to have children. We dreamed of becoming mothers and what that would be like, and we knew our family was not complete. Soon after we got married, we wanted to start a family right away. Adoption has always been close to our hearts as we have witnessed people we love complete their family in this beautiful way.
As we gathered our research, LifeLong Adoptions stood out to us. We have had a few friends who have used LifeLong and knew when we had our meeting with them that they were the ones we wanted to help us build our family. When we told our friends and family about our decision to move forward with adoption, they were all extremely supportive. They knew how much we wanted to become mothers and have a family. Having our army of supporters made stepping into this new chapter less nerve-wracking, which we are extremely grateful for.
Testing Our Patience
As we started our journey, we were extremely hopeful and excited about this experience. Like many people starting their adoption journey, we were ready for it to happen as soon as possible, although we knew this process could take time. We were so ready for our lives to change, but reflecting back now, adoption is a true lesson in patience. We leaned on our faith, knowing that God was going to place the most perfect, precious baby into our home.
We started our journey at the beginning of fall, gathering all of the paperwork needed in order to move forward with the process. We were active for about eight months when we both took new jobs in a different state. We decided to take a step back and pause our plans for adoption for a year. We wanted to get settled into our new home and knew we would need to get a new home study. During this time, however, an expectant mother came forward and wanted to talk with us. We were over-the-moon excited because this was the first expectant mother we had an opportunity to communicate with. We talked with her for about six weeks, and then unexpectedly communication stopped. Throughout our journey, we talked to about three to four different expectant mothers.
Guarding Our Hearts
When people talk about adoption, guarding your hearts is always a talked-about topic. We were connected with an expectant mother and were extremely excited about the situation. We got as far as bringing the baby home for three weeks, and the birthmother ended up changing her mind. While we understood this was a chance and completely her right, we were completely devastated and heartbroken, wondering when our time would come or if it was ever going to happen. We relied on our faith, hoping that one day everything we had been through would all make sense.
Miracles Do Happen
Time passed, and our wounds had begun to heal when we were contacted by LifeLong about an expectant mother wanting to communicate with us. We were so excited about this new opportunity. Within minutes of talking to her, we knew she was different than any other expectant mother we had talked to before.
After about a week of talking with her, we flew to where she lived and met up with her and her daughter. Like any new situation, there was anxiety. As soon as we said our first hello, we had that feeling she was going to be a part of our lives forever. She had such an easygoing personality with a great sense of humor. We are so grateful for the time we got to spend getting to know them both.
Our relationship with her flourished more and more each day. Leading up to her delivery date, we drove to stay near her as we waited for the baby’s arrival. We were able to spend Thanksgiving with her, which was so special and something we will never forget.
When she went into labor, she texted us to let us know. We told her we would head to the hospital as soon as she gave us the word. She sent us another text about an hour later and asked if we would be her support system in the delivery room. We were honored to be by her side throughout her delivery. Allowing us to be in the delivery room with her showed how much she trusted us with this entire process and our relationship itself.
The moment Fletcher took his first breath, both of our eyes filled with tears. It was such a beautiful, surreal moment. We saw firsthand the strength that Fletcher’s birthmother had, which made this moment even more special. The birth process was a miracle itself, and to be able to witness it first-hand is a moment we will never forget. He is absolutely perfect, and we are forever grateful and humbled for the trust she has in us. We did not think our love and respect for her could be any greater but after going through this experience together…. we can’t adequately put into words how strongly we feel about her. We knew then our paths were meant to cross, and we will cherish her for her selfless act for the rest of our lives.
Looking Back
In our journey, God had his hands on us the entire way. It took us letting go and knowing the right baby was going to come. Looking back, patience is the number one thing to have during this process. Easier said than done, we know, because it is human nature to try to control everything. Know that your journey may not look exactly as you envisioned and that is okay- stay open to the process. Educate yourself as much as possible. We listened to different podcasts and read books on adoption. It helped pass the time as well as prepare us in many different ways. Change your mindset of thinking “if” it will happen to “when” it will happen…. because it will happen. Know that your baby is out there waiting for you. When the timing is right, he or she will be coming to your open arms.