For many hopeful adoptive parents, one of the most pressing fears is simple: What if the birthmother changes her mind? It's a vulnerable question, and a completely valid one. Adoption is a beautiful, emotional journey, but it's also filled with plenty of uncertainties, especially during the time leading up to placement.

So, can a birthmother change her mind before adoption? Yes, she can. And understanding why, how often, and what it means for you, can help bring clarity, compassion, and preparedness to your adoption journey.

The Legal Right to Change Her Mind

Legally speaking, a birthmother—and in some cases, the birthfather—has the right to change her mind at any point before she signs the legal consent to adoption. These legal consents typically happen after the baby is born, and the specific timeline varies from state to state. Some states allow a birthmother to sign consent within 24 to 72 hours of birth, while others require longer waiting periods.

Even after the consent is signed, some states offer a short revocation period during which the birth mother can still change her mind and decide to parent. This is her legal right, and it’s an important part of ensuring that every adoption is truly voluntary. Once the legal revocation period has passed and the adoption is finalized, however, the placement does become permanent.

Why a Birthmother Might Change Her Mind

Adoption is one of the most deeply emotional and life-changing decisions a person can make. A birthmother may spend months feeling confident in her plan, only to experience a surge of unexpected emotions after delivery. This is not uncommon and doesn’t mean she was dishonest—it simply means she’s human.

Here are a few reasons why a birthmother might change her mind:

• She feels a strong emotional bond after birth
• Family or friends offered support and encouraged her to parent
• Her personal or financial circumstances have changed
• Lingering doubts resurfaced as her due date approached

The decision to place a child for adoption is never taken lightly. It’s a process filled with introspection, vulnerability, and emotion, and every birthmother deserves the time and space to make the choice that feels right for her.

How Often Do Birthmothers Change Their Minds?

This is a common question for prospective adoptive families: How often do birthmothers change their minds? While there’s no single statistic that applies to all adoptions, it’s important to understand that while it does happen, it’s not the norm.

At LifeLong Adoptions, we work closely with birthmothers to ensure they’re making informed, thoughtful decisions. That includes access to counseling, resources, and support, and ensuring they never feel pressured or rushed. When birthmothers are properly supported throughout their decision-making process, they’re more likely to feel confident in their plan.

What This Means for Hopeful Adoptive Parents

The possibility that a birthmother could change her mind can be painful to sit with. It’s okay to feel anxious or even scared, but this is a reflection of just how significant adoption is—it’s a lifelong decision for everyone involved.

If an adoption opportunity doesn’t work out, it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. It doesn’t mean adoption isn’t meant for you. It simply means the timing or the match wasn’t quite right.

This is why emotional resilience and a strong support system are essential. Lean on your adoption coordinator. Reach out to others who have been through similar experiences. Take care of your mental and emotional health as you move forward with hope.

Leaving the Door Open: Why Kindness Matters

If a birthmother decides to parent, the emotions can be overwhelming. But whenever possible, we encourage hopeful families to respond with compassion and grace. Why? Because sometimes, a birthmother may return to her adoption plan.

It’s rare, but it does happen. Weeks or even months later, a birthmother may realize that parenting isn’t the right path for her after all. If she felt safe and respected by you during the process, she may choose to reach out to you again.

Leaving things on a kind, respectful note can leave the door open for the future. It’s not about clinging to hope, it’s about honoring the relationship you built and recognizing that adoption is a journey, not a single moment.

How LifeLong Adoptions Supports You and the Birthmother

At LifeLong Adoptions, we believe adoption should be rooted in compassion, honesty, and support—for everyone involved. That means we offer birthmothers the time, space, and resources they need to make the decision that’s right for them, without pressure. Through counseling, guidance, and emotional support, we help ensure that when a birthmother chooses adoption, she does so with confidence and clarity.

And we’re here for you, too. As a hopeful adoptive parent, you’ll never be alone on this journey. Our experienced team is here to walk with you through the uncertainties, celebrate the milestones, and support you every step of the way.

If you're ready to learn more about adopting with LifeLong Adoptions, we invite you to take the next step by filling out our free adoption application. It’s the beginning of a meaningful journey—one we’d be honored to take with you.