Parents often have different preferences for spacing between their kids. It should go without saying, but there’s no right or wrong way to space out the months or years between your children. The decision on how to space out kids lies entirely with the parents. This can be affected by a number of factors, including finances, career moves, as well as health. What you want mentally and physically can also affect birth spacing.

For some parents, they prefer to have all their children with short intervals in between. The advantage of this is that your children will be likely to have similar interests. Having all your children within short periods can also allow you to go on to educate them together, then later, focus on other aspects of your life such as career or investments.

To other parents, the need to enjoy every child’s earlier years is important. This is why they only have another child when the first one is no longer a toddler. That way, they enjoy all the developmental stages for each child. 

Some parents, however, choose to have another child when their first child is an adolescent and going through the school system. While this gives ample time to enjoy your child’s growth, the siblings may not have much in common in their everyday lives. This can make their relationship a bit of a struggle at times.

Effects of Birth Spacing on Parental Favoritism

The number of years between children and their order of birth can affect how a parent relates to them. For instance, a parent is likely to form a strong emotional attachment to the last born child, since they know they won't be experiencing the stages ever again. Conversely, they’ll look to the first born for achievements, structure, and later to help with problem solving. The parent may also be more lenient on discipline for the middle child. 

First born children also tend to look up to their parents and want to emulate them. This makes them more or less similar to their parents, a factor that endears them to the parents. That they work hard to excel also makes it easier for them to have a good relationship with their parents. 

Middle children often feel overlooked as compared to the first or last born. This is why most middle children act out when younger in an attempt to get attention from their parents. However, after they grow up and leave the nest and they no longer have to compete for their parent’s resources, middle children usually get as much attention as the other siblings.

The last born child can find themselves well-provided for while everyone dotes on them. Last-borns are also likely to grow up into carefree adults when compared to the hardworking and excelling firstborn. This can cause some strife between siblings, but with proper guidance and love, siblings can love each other immensely no matter what age, spacing, or birth order. 

The Solution

Since there’s not one correct way to space or have your children, you should trust your instincts on how to structure your children as you continue to adopt. If you feel ready to adopt or to add another child, LGBT adoption services are readily available for you! Reach out today to be matched with an agency who will put your needs at the forefront and help you along your parental journey.